I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
