that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
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