i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
