Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
