I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
