Non-Jews are for practice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
