i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
