they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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