bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
