Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
