D3 body, D1 cock
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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