just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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