I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
