found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize