Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
