none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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