I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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