My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
