I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
