Barsexuality is the new black.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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