hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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