i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
