You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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