I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
