no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize