We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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