Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
