Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
