i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have post one night stand depression
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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