the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
