i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
