It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
