Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im holly from the hills drunk
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
