My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
