Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
