I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
