so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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