So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
