i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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