I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
