im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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