Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
