For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
