It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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