Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
