its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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