He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
