every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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