So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
