Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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