shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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